Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He kissed a someone with a penis
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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