don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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