If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
