Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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