If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
