butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
