What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
