I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
