Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
