Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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