At least make sure they are 18
Why
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
