so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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