I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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