Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize