You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
