I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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