You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
