pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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