what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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