He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize