Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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