We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
