ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
