Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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