Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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