apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
