I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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