Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
