I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
