Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
