it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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