you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
