I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
