How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
