well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
