Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
