never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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