I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
