letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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