you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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