and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
