Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
