just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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