my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
