they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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