Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
