Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize