we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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