Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
