Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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