This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
