I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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