I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
