My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ladies don't puke and tell
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
