My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
