i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to calm my uterus...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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