Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
