this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Boobs speak an international language.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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