OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
