I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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