I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
