I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
