At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
